Tip 3: Don't treat your readers like adults

People are generally much less intelligent than me..er than I am..than I.

I feel I always have to explain things at least twice in my blog, and I always have to over emphasise (than means make clearer, thickie) each di-ffi-cult word.

Because I have an enormous amount of successful experience in working with people, I know they all love nursery rhymes.  Love them!  Even the people who say they can't stand them - they love them too.

So I give each of my blogposts a really stupid title.

Quite often it has nothing at all to do with the content of the blogpost.

This works well because people are stupid and seem to like rhyming words or alliteration (that's said as a-lit-er-ay-shun for you thickies out there, which means using two words that start with the same letter.)

I use it ALL THE TIME in my home outside the UK with my husband Mick.

Don't give me Cold Coffee you Cretin - I use that quite a lot - but you see, all the words start with the same letter so nobody who is less intelligent than I am would notice that.

No, you can't have Nookie.  I say that one a lot too - oh how we laugh!

You can choose something to write about, like SHOES and call the blogpost SHITTY SHOES.

I actually wrote one called SHITTY SHOES as it made my readers believe I don't even have the coins (in the currency I use, in my home outside the UK) to buy any shoes. They would continue to be drawn in hook, line and sinker in the fantasy that I live (outside the UK) in a hovel that we have to scrimp every penny just to live in (outside the UK - did I mention that?) and they believe that quite often we have to go without shoes.